In my last entry, I suggested you take back your life from intrusive technology and social media.
In this entry, something more subtle and difficult to manage: intrusive and obsessive thoughts and feelings. Unlike the relatively recent tyranny of technology, this invasion has been with us since the dawn of human consciousness. Nagging thoughts and feelings go with the territory.
These suggestions have been re-purposed from the Cloud of Unknowing. There the context was distractions during prayer and meditation. Here I am looking more generally at mind/emotion control. We can always turn our phones off. How do we turn our minds and hearts off so that we can have some peace and self possession? These suggestions may also be helpful for the will in confronting temptations to act in ways we would not.
First, the direct approach. Look the item in the eye and say “no.” I will control you, not you me.
This approach works wonderfully well when we are on our game. When we feel strong with a clear sense of purpose. The victory is ours, and we push on to the next chosen item or occupation of our day.
Second, the indirect approach. But often we are not strong enough to look the intrusive thought or emotion or temptation in the eye. It will overpower us. So we distract our self, look over its shoulder, as it were, at some other item that absorbs our attention. Before long, the power of the intruder (and the fear we feel in its presence) begins to recede, and we will often be able to move on with the rest of our day free from its grip.
Third, surrender. Not to the obsessive thought or feeling or temptation, but to “God.”
Remember, “God” is a general term. It derives its meaning from myriad contexts of use. Personal Savior, higher power, my friend, “that than which no greater can be conceived,” and so forth and so on. Pick the one that works for you. Having tried the direct and indirect approaches to no avail, here we throw ourselves like children into the arms of the one who alone can protect us from this intruder. “If you don’t intervene here on my behalf, I am lost. I cannot win without you. I have honestly tried on my own (as though the first two methods are not themselves gifts!), and now I throw myself on your mercy.” Then with great faith and confidence, we go about the rest of our day, the victory won “in God.”
Notice the faith and confidence it takes to employ this third method, having tried and failed with the other two. And this faith and confidence cannot be faked. Like the child in the loving parent’s arms, we are released to the rest of our day with the assurance that “all will be well, and all manner of things will be well,” to quote Julian of Norwich. “Would a father give his child a stone if the child asked for bread? Of course not,” says Jesus. “If you, as imperfect as you are give good things to your children, how much more will the Father give you the Spirit if you but ask.” So, the suggestion goes, keep knocking, keep asking, keep searching, for the one who asks gets, and the one who searches finds.
Finally, sometimes we have to make our peace with the intruder, give it space in our life, as a Buddhist text suggests, until it moves out in its own time, we know not why. All resistance only strengthens its hold on us. But suddenly we look—maybe years down the road!—and it is no longer there. The intrusive thought, feeling, or temptation no longer has a grip on us. And we may wonder why it did in the first place. This is our human condition, to be so gripped and to wonder at it. Better to be grateful for the release and the new freedom, however won. No doubt, some new spiritual challenge awaits us in the wings. God help us to enjoy and grow from our experience and the experience of others.
Love and more love, and prayers, from Fecas